After a couple of years which I don't remember too well (I have a good memory otherwise - don't know what went wrong then) I went to school. Again, I don't remember why I did that but I must have had a reason. Then, I moved to Berlin (another strange city I hadn't heard of before my birth). Amazingly, they had schools there, too, so I went to school again. I can be very persistent. After mastering the difficult art of sleeping in class, I even began to enjoy going there. Unfortunately, one day they woke me up, gave me a piece of paper with weird numbers on it, kicked me out and locked the doors.
I really had no choice. I went to the university and slept there. The world is such a cruel place, though, and all unpleasant things happen at least twice. After a while I had two pieces of paper with weird numbers on them and nowhere to sleep. However, they hadn't locked the doors properly this time so I managed to get back in. Have I mentioned that I can be very persistent? Now it was them who didn't have a choice. They gave me a salary and an office to sleep in and left me alone otherwise. No, wait, that is not entirely true. I do have to give lectures. During a lecture, I stand in front of some students and talk until they fall asleep. Sometimes, this doesn't work as well as it should and I have to write things on the blackboard. That works always.
In fact, I even do some research. Mainly, this means writing papers. I'm not sure what they are good for but I suppose people who can't attend my lectures read them and fall asleep that way. In fact, I'm going to write a thesis (a really big paper) soon. Hopefully, a record number of people will fall asleep while reading it.
Apart from the sleeping business, nothing really interesting has happened in my life. I've read some good books, made a couple of people (girls, mainly) quite unhappy, supported the alcohol and tobacco industry as well as I could and broke my nose once (that was very unpleasant and is bound to happen again). Oh, and one day my dog died.