haruki simps are the opposite of haruki^ (they like fixing broken things), jun simps are jun kinnies^ (for context it means they identify with him), shoichi simps are thirsty and/or extremely lonely^, kei simps are poor and shallow*, alex simps would fall for a lamppost if it looked at them right, and yuuichi simps are the definition of a miscellaneous, yet not mundane, person.
*may contain bias
^i am one of these
unnecessary, but i found ranting here to be fun, hope you draw some entertainment out of it