More for you here, my friend

Less: “You can do anything you put your mind to.” More: “It’s okay and completely understandable if you’re struggling to do the things you want and need to due to your diagnosis and it isn’t your fault if some things are hard or impossible right now.”

Less: “You’re limitless.” More: “Everybody has limits and you’re not a failure if your diagnosis gives you limits that most people don’t have. Having limits and learning to accommodate them is a natural, important and healthy thing.

Less: “Change your attitude, change your life.” More: “Your diagnosis and how it impacts your life isn’t an attitude problem and getting better is much more complicated than thinking positive thoughts and that’s okay.”

Less: “Stay positive and you’ll be happy.” More: “It’s okay to struggle with negative emotions and nobody can be positive all the time. Struggling to stay positive doesn’t make you a bad or weak person.”

Less: “You have so many wonderful reasons to live.” More: “Your life is valuable and you deserve to be here even if it feels like you don’t have many reasons to live right now - cause you’ll find those reasons along the way.”

Less: “Remember that life is amazing!” More: “Your life may suck right now but that doesn’t mean it won’t be worth it in the long run.”

Less empty platitudes, more compassion.

if you have recently found someone who turned out to not be right for you, remember:

• you deserve someone who will make you happy
• you deserve someone who doesn’t make you question if you’re their priority
• you deserve someone who listens
• you deserve someone who validates your feelings
• you deserve someone who loves you just as much as you love them
• you deserve someone who makes time for you
• you deserve someone who gushes about you
• you deserve someone who makes sure you know they enjoy spending time with you
• you deserve someone who makes you laugh on your worst days
• you deserve someone who makes you go to bed with a smile on your face, not tears in your eyes
• you deserve someone who doesn’t make you worry you might say the wrong thing
• you deserve someone who is willing to drop everything to comfort you on a really bad day
• you deserve someone who pays attention to the little things you like and dislike
• you deserve someone who gets you
• you deserve someone who sees a future with you
• you deserve someone who appreciates you
• you deserve better

at the time, i wrote this having not even found that person. but now i have them and have proven myself right.

Image text: "Never quit" sounds great, but sometimes, you gotta quit. Be willing to say "this isn't what I thought it was" or "this doesn't appeal to me anymore." Remember that you can quit "the thing" without quitting on yourself. Remember that persistence and fluidity can coexist."

In case you were never allowed to be angry as a child and now you ‘just don’t get angry’…

Anger can be a normal, healthy and safe emotion as long as you’re not hurting yourself or someone else.

You are not hard to love, you just ran into the wrong people. There are someone out there who will love you so much, and you will feel the warmth of that love. Please don’t give up.

You would not ask someone who does not value the sky and the stars to go stargazing with you. The value of the sky is just the same, as is yours. You just need to find the stargazers. 🌸

Your suffering is enough. Your pain is enough. I'm sorry you were made to feel that you had to prove you needed help.

strength

This is your friendly reminder to not bow to “Holiday Guilt”

You’ll see a lot of posts saying “Don’t forget to talk to/send gifts/reconnect with family! Now is the time for forgiveness and understanding!” - but you don’t have to do that, you don’t owe anyone who has done you wrong a single thing.

“The Holidays” are not a magical eraser that wipes the slate clean, it’s not a “cure all” or “Band-Aid” for abusive people to use to get forgiveness without doing the work to earn it, it’s not a time to “put our differences aside and enjoy a meal” - you have your own agency and you should not let some Crappily Worded Greeting Card Post/Tweet/Commercial/Movie “message” sway you into forgiving people (even temporarily) who don’t deserve it.

Forgiveness is a precious gift that isn’t just given to someone every 25th of December for the reason of “IT’S THE HOLIDAYS!”