— in which martin exposes the instagram stories he posted to catch your attention before bagging you.
— based on this ask!
( nonidol!martin x reader )
james ver. ✶ cortis masterlist
note 𖦹 dedicated to the lovely @sevvycoer who sent in the request, @teacuplps my fav mars enthusiast!! (quoted timmy chalabingbong from heart to heart, and @kaikaikoi for the kanye lyric reference LMAOOO its plastered in my head rn , yearner/downbad tin for all!!!!!
𝖭𝖮𝖡𝖮𝖣𝖸 𝖦𝖤𝖳𝖲 𝖬𝖤 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗗𝗢.
🎨🧸 𝗚𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗬 ౨ৎ 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖺 𝗌𝗂𝗆𝗉𝗅𝖾 𝖫𝖾𝗀𝗈 𝗽𝗶𝗲𝗰𝗲𝘀 & 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭. 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎'𝗋𝖾 𝗯𝗳 𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗈. 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬
𝗪𝗬𝗪 ᥫ᭡ 𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 , 𝖿𝗂𝗋𝗌𝗍 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌 , 𝗌𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗉 , 𝗇𝖾𝗋𝖽 𝖻𝖿 𝖬𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗂𝗇! 𝗑 𝗇𝖾𝗋𝖽 𝗀𝖿 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 , 𝗇𝖾𝗋𝗏𝗈𝗎𝗌 , 𝖺𝗐𝗄𝗐𝖺𝗋𝖽 𝒘𝒄 . 𝟗𝟒𝟑
comment on this POST , if u want to be added to my perm taglist!
You’re sitting on the floor of his room, surrounded by Lego pieces like you’ve lost a tiny, colorful war, there’s a halfbuilt set between you, instructions ignored somewhere twenty minutes ago. Martin is kneeling across from you, sleeves pushed up, paint smudge on his wrist because you were also painting earlier and neither of you cleaned up properly.
“Okay,” he says, squinting at the pieces in his hand. “I think this goes....here?” You lean closer. “No baby, that one’s upside down.”
have yall ever wondered why writer’s block is so insanely hard to get over especially when ive been through torture from my institute i feel like offing myself xoxo, but in all honesty, i need to get my shit together and post the 20 drafts laying in my queue which i cannot finish because its apparently not good enough, well my writings were never good enough so why am i so concerned now oml.
reading all these post about fans stalking mingyu on his run and in the club I’m like: girl… stop it. I understand it’s kim mingyu but isn’t it just… humiliating??? to be that intrusive?? hard to believe but I would NEVER approach him or, god forbid, seungcheol irl… first of all,I’d be so scared, and second of all, I’m a narcissist so what do you mean it’s me being obsessed with him??? it’s HIM who’s in love with me aka y/n aka that mysterious girl from the street and we’re going to meet at the jackson wang’s party anyway 💅🏻
all jokes aside we all know what personal space is and I’d better behave like that uninterested friend that y/n brought to one direction concert (iykyk) than throw myself to their feet
JUN-kitty gets shy when he gets compliments 🥹
It’s only recently that I’ve discovered that i have a huge thing for Chinese men like OH MY GOD.
I’ve been thinking why I’m so head over heels for Minghao all of a sudden after it always being on the back of my mind until I started tweaking out for Junhui too, and I then realised i just have a type for Chinese men over all 🤸
Pairing → Tom Holland x Reader
Warnings → Guilt, angst, abandonment aftermath, regret, family conflict, anxiety, discussions of parental absence, emotional confrontation
Summary → Haunted by meeting Theo, Tom confronts his mother and finally faces the devastating consequences of abandoning his family years ago.
Tom hadn’t slept properly in a week.
Not real sleep, anyway.
Every night followed the same miserable cycle. He’d lie in bed staring at the ceiling while his brain replayed the supermarket incident over and over again like punishment.
Theo sitting in the cart.
“Mama! That’s Spider-Man!”
Those wide brown eyes.
His eyes.
Tom squeezed his eyes shut against the memory, rolling onto his side for what felt like the hundredth time that night.
2:47 AM glowed from the digital clock beside his bed.
Again.
He let out a frustrated groan and sat up, dragging both hands down his face roughly.
This was bad.
Worse than bad.
Because no matter how hard he tried distracting himself, his mind always circled back to the same thing.
He has a son. A son who doesn’t know him. And somehow that tiny detail hurt more than everything else combined.
Theo looked at Spider-Man with pure excitement. Admiration. But if the little boy ever learned the truth someday…
Would he still look at him that way after finding out his father left before he was born?
Tom’s stomach twisted violently.
He got out of bed and wandered downstairs quietly, unable to handle lying there anymore.
The Holland house was silent at this hour. Dark except for the dim kitchen light someone had forgotten to switch off.
Tom headed straight for the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water before leaning heavily against the counter.
God, everything felt wrong lately.
He kept noticing children now too.
Everywhere.
Tiny shoes in shops. Fathers carrying toddlers on their shoulders. Parents chasing laughing kids through parks.
Before the supermarket, those things barely registered. Now every single one felt like a reminder.
You missed it.
You missed all of it.
Tom unscrewed the water bottle slowly, guilt sitting like concrete in his chest.
Theo was already three years old.
His son had existed for three entire years while Tom pretended not to think about him.
No. That wasn’t true.
Tom thought about the baby constantly during the first few months after leaving.
That was the problem.
He thought too much.
About headlines. About scandals. About contracts. About producers viewing him differently. About interviews asking invasive questions.
“Young rising actor abandons pregnant girlfriend.”
The headline practically wrote itself.
And selfishly, Tom panicked.
His management team never knew about you. But they indirectly told him to leave if he’s attached to anyone.
“Things are getting bigger now, mate.” “Personal situations can create unnecessary press.” “You need to stay focused.”
Focused.
Funny word for emotionally self-destructing.
At first Tom convinced himself space was temporary.
He’d calm down. Figure things out. Come back once life settled.
But then filming started. Then interviews. Then fame exploded overnight.
And every week that passed made returning feel impossible.
Because how did you come back from abandoning someone pregnant?
How did you apologize for that?
Eventually shame turned into avoidance. Avoidance turned into silence. Silence turned into blocking your number because every ultrasound photo made him feel physically ill with guilt.
Coward.
That word echoed through his head constantly lately.
Because that’s what he’d been.
Not strategic. Not protective.
Just a coward.
Tom rubbed his face tiredly.
And now Theo existed as an actual little person instead of some abstract consequence shoved into the back of his brain.
A real child.
His child.
With curls and big brown eyes and tiny hands gripping toy cars.
Tom felt sick again.
The worst part?
Theo looked happy.
Happy despite him.
Which somehow made Tom feel even less necessary.
“Couldn’t sleep either?”
Tom looked up quickly.
Nikki stood in the kitchen doorway, watching him carefully.
He immediately looked away.
“No.”
She walked further inside quietly before filling the kettle with water.
Silence stretched between them.
Heavy. Uncomfortable.
Ever since the supermarket incident, things between them felt strained in a way Tom hated.
Not because Nikki yelled.
Honestly, he almost wished she had sooner.
Instead she looked disappointed.
And disappointment from your mother hit differently at twenty-three than it did at thirteen.
Tom swallowed hard.
“Mum…”
Nikki glanced at him briefly.
“Hm?”
He hesitated. Because once this conversation started, there was no escaping it anymore.
Finally he exhaled shakily, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
The kettle clicked softly into place.
Nikki didn’t answer immediately.
“Tell you what?”
Tom laughed bitterly.
“You know what.”
Nikki turned slowly to face him fully. And suddenly Tom felt like a teenager again under that stare.
“You mean why didn’t I tell you I still see Y/n?” She asked quietly.
His chest tightened hearing your name aloud.
“Or Theo.”
The silence afterward felt suffocating.
Nikki folded her arms.
“You already knew Theo existed.”
Tom flinched hard.
“Mum…”
“No.” Her voice sharpened slightly. “You do not get to act blindsided now.”
Tom rubbed a hand over his jaw tiredly.
“I didn’t know she actually had him.”
Nikki stared at him like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“She was six months pregnant when she sent you pictures.”
Tom looked away instantly. Because he remembered. God, he remembered all of it.
Your messages sitting unanswered. Tiny updates. Attempts at connection.
And him slowly shutting every door instead of dealing with reality.
“I thought…” he started weakly before trailing off.
“You thought what?” Nikki challenged quietly.
Tom exhaled shakily.
“I thought staying away was better.”
Nikki actually laughed once.
Not amused.
Disbelieving.
“Better for who?”
Tom’s throat tightened.
“I didn’t want her dragged into my career.”
“Oh don’t,” Nikki snapped instantly. “Don’t hide behind that excuse anymore, Tom.”
Tom blinked slightly at her tone.
“You left because you were scared.”
The truth landed brutally. Because yeah. He was. He was terrified.
Terrified of responsibility. Terrified of losing opportunities. Terrified of becoming “problematic” in Hollywood’s eyes before his career even started properly.
And underneath all that? Terrified he’d be a terrible father.
Tom sat down heavily at the kitchen table.
“I didn’t know what to do.”
Nikki’s expression softened slightly.
“You should’ve stayed anyway.”
His eyes burned unexpectedly.
“I know.”
And he did know that now.
Because seeing you again destroyed every comforting lie he’d built around his decision.
You didn’t look better without him. You looked exhausted. Guarded. Fragile in places you never used to be.
And when you grabbed Theo and ran-
God.
That image alone kept replaying in his nightmares.
Like you genuinely feared him.
“I hurt her that badly?” Tom asked quietly.
Nikki stared at him for a long moment.
Then sighed. “You broke her.”
The words punched the air from his lungs.
“She loved you so much,” Nikki continued softly. “Even after everything, she defended you constantly.”
Tom looked genuinely shattered hearing that.
“Why?”
Nikki’s expression turned sad.
“Because that’s who she is.”
Guilt crawled violently through his chest.
He remembered you pregnant and crying while begging him not to leave.
Please. Don’t leave.
Tom closed his eyes briefly.
What kind of man walks away from that?
“What was it like?” He asked hoarsely.
Nikki frowned slightly.
“What?”
“When Theo was born.”
Something shifted in Nikki’s expression immediately. Sadness mixed with something protective.
“She was terrified.”
Tom swallowed hard.
“She wanted you there,” Nikki admitted quietly. “Even after everything.”
That nearly destroyed him.
“She cried during labor asking for you once.”
Tom physically recoiled like he’d been slapped.
“Mum…”
“You asked.”
He pressed both palms against his eyes. This was unbearable. Every detail made it worse.
Because somewhere along the way, Theo stopped feeling like a complicated mistake attached to fear and started feeling heartbreakingly real.
Tom let out a shaky breath.
“What’s he like?”
Nikki smiled despite herself.
And suddenly the tension softened slightly.
“He’s chaos.”
Tom huffed a weak laugh.
“That sounds familiar.”
“Oh, he’s exactly like you.” Nikki pointed accusingly. “Dramatic. Stubborn. Loud.”
Tom’s chest ached hearing it.
“He likes dinosaurs,” Nikki continued quietly. “He has a stuffed rabbit named Bunny. He’s attached to it. And he’s obsessed with Spider-Man.”
The irony felt almost cruel.
Tom looked down at his hands.
“I missed everything.”
Nikki didn’t sugarcoat it.
“Yes.”
That honesty hurt.
But he deserved it.
“He said his first word at eleven months,” Nikki said softly after a moment. “Started walking early too. Climbed everything constantly.”
Tom laughed weakly through the emotion threatening his throat.
“Definitely mine then.”
“He looks exactly like you at that age.”
Tom remembered the moment he saw Theo in the supermarket.
It felt almost supernatural. Like staring into a tiny mirror.
And for one horrible second, Tom saw what his life could’ve been.
You. Theo. A family.
Instead he had movie premieres and luxury apartments that suddenly felt empty.
“You know what the worst part is?” Tom admitted quietly.
Nikki stayed silent.
“He looked at me like I was a stranger.”
Because he was one.
Tom knew that.
Biology didn’t magically make him a father after years of absence.
Theo didn’t know him. Didn’t trust him. Didn’t love him.
Why would he?
Tom was just the actor from the television.
Not Dad.
“I want to fix this,” Tom whispered finally.
Nikki looked at him carefully.
“Do you?”
“Yes.”
“Because guilt isn’t enough, Tom.”
Her words settled heavily between them.
“You can’t come into their lives just because seeing Theo shocked you emotionally.”
Tom frowned slightly, “That’s not what this is.”
“Then what is it?”
He opened his mouth. Stopped. Because honestly? He didn’t fully know yet. Regret, obviously. Guilt too. But there was something else underneath it now.
Grief.
For everything he threw away.
“I don’t know how to explain it,” Tom admitted quietly. “But seeing him… it felt like something cracked open.”
Nikki’s eyes softened slightly.
“He’s your son.”
Tom laughed bitterly.
“Not really.”
Nikki immediately frowned.
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s true.” His voice roughened. “I haven’t earned that title.”
Silence settled again.
Then Nikki sat across from him, “You know what Y/n used to do?” She asked quietly.
Tom looked up.
“She used to defend you every single time I got angry.”
His chest tightened.
“She’d say you were scared. Overwhelmed. Young.”
Tom stared blankly at the table.
“She never let Theo grow up hearing any bad thing about you,” Nikki continued softly. “Even after all the pain.”
That shattered something in him completely. Because you could’ve hated him. But instead you protected Theo from your heartbreak.
Protected Tom too.
And he didn’t deserve that kindness whatsoever.
Tom swallowed hard. “Does Theo ask about his dad?”
Nikki hesitated.
“Sometimes. But he doesn’t really understand the concept yet.”
His stomach twisted painfully.
“What does she tell him?”
“The truth. Mostly.”
Tom braced himself.
“That his dad lives far away, that he’s busy,” Nikki said carefully.
Tom leaned back in his chair slowly, exhaustion crushing him.
“I don’t know how to face her.”
Nikki looked at him carefully.
“With honesty.”
He laughed once.
“She’ll hate me.”
“Maybe.”
The bluntness almost made him smile weakly.
“But this isn’t about whether she hates you,” Nikki added firmly. “This is about whether you’re finally willing to put them before yourself.”
Tom sat quietly after that.
Thinking.
About you. About Theo. About every moment he missed.
Finally he nodded slowly.
Determination settled into his expression for the first time in years.
“I want to see him again.”
Nikki studied him carefully.
“Then you need to prepare yourself for the possibility that Y/n says no.”
Tom looked down.
“I know.”
“And if she does?”
His throat tightened painfully.
“I’ll respect it.”
Because after abandoning you once, he’d lost the right to demand anything.
Including forgiveness.
Nikki reached across the table then, squeezing his hand gently.
“I’m angry with you,” she admitted softly. “Probably always will be a little.”
Tom nodded silently.
“But you’re still my son.”
Emotion flickered across his face instantly.
“And I know you’re not heartless, Tom.”
God.
Sometimes he wished he was.
Maybe then this wouldn’t hurt so much.
Nikki squeezed his hand again.
“Just don’t fail them twice.”
Tom looked toward the window quietly, morning light slowly beginning to spill across the sky.
Somewhere out there, you were probably waking Theo up right now. Making breakfast. Starting another normal day without him.
And for the first time in years, Tom realized something terrifying.
He didn’t want to be absent anymore.
Even if you never forgave him.
Even if Theo never called him Dad.
He still wanted to try.
Because now that he’d finally seen what he lost…
Walking away again felt impossible.
°:. *₊ ° . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ° .•
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